Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Save The Nipples!!

Do you have nipples? Just about everybody does. Do you like your nipples? Would you like to keep them? Then this story is for you! Read on!

A few nights ago I took a refresher course in CPR (Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation) and AED use (Automated Exterior Defibrillator) from the American Heart Association. Guess what. I passed! Now, if anyone has a heart malfunction in my vicinity I can help them out. Yay!

However, there were some "interesting" things I learned in my training that surprised me and everyone else in the room as well. One of them might be very important to you if you have any body piercings. Keep reading. Here are some of the things I learned.
  • There is a difference between a "heart attack" and "cardiac arrest." A heart attack is a blockage problem. Cardiac Arrest is an "electrical " problem. Read more about it here.
  • Use of an AED in cardiac arrest cases increases your chances of survival from 10% to over 30%.
  • If you are wearing a bra, whether ye be man or woman . . . it is coming off! The wire inside can short circuit the AED's effectiveness.
  • If you have a hairy chest, man or woman, it won't be hairy for long. We have been instructed to dry-shave it where the AED pads go.
  • If you have any body piercings that are within 2" of the AED pads (like nipple rings or studs), we have been instructed to remove them . . . by grabbing them . . . and ripping them off. That's right. Ripping them off!
That last little bit of information might sound somewhat extreme but, when the alternative is death, would most people really mind?

Sin in our lives is a lot like having a nipple ring. We might like it. We might think it makes us look cool. But unless it is removed we have no chance of survival. We're going to die and that's that.

The thing that sucks is, no matter how hard we try to be good or to keep our nipples in one piece, we can never stay clean enough by ourselves to have any hope of life after death.

There is some good news though. It is possible to be saved, body piercings and all, by placing your faith and hope in Jesus. He knows exactly how to save a heart that has gone bad. And He won't rip your nipples off!

I have nothing against piercings I guess. But then again, I kind of do. Piercings and tattoos are an outward expression of the inner self. They cry out "Look at me!" Shouldn't we really be saying "Look at Jesus?"

"7 “Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes! 8 And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire." - Matthew 8:7-9

Nothing But The Blood - Matt Redman

No comments:

Post a Comment