How We Listen

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

⁹He said, “Go and tell this people:

‘Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.’" - Isaiah 6:8-9

We all have ears, but some of us cannot hear. And others choose NOT to.

Here's an example of what Isaiah was talking about: Do you remember sitting in a grade school classroom, incredibly bored and staring out the window? Back then, we were hearing but we weren't listening.

And when we do finally try to listen, did you know that there are actually nine different TYPES of listening?

1. Informational listening - when we are being taught or coached.
2. Discriminative listening - a deeper type of listening, observing body language and tone of voice.
3. Selective listening - only hearing what you WANT to hear.
4. Sympathetic listening - noting the speakers emotion as they speak.
5. Comprehensive listening - receiving feedback.
6. Empathetic listening - putting yourself in the speaker's shoes. 
7. Critical listening - adding your own knowledge to what the speaker is saying.
8. Reflective listening - communicating back to the speaker what you heard.
9. Appreciative listening - like listening to music.

What type of listening was Isaiah using when he said, "Here am I. Send me!"

Are we using "selective listening" when we choose what news channel to watch?

And when we pray, do we listen for that "still, small voice" that Elijah heard?

Try using multiple types of listening at the same time in your next conversation with friends. There is nothing quite like hearing, "You're a great listener!"

"I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live." - Psalm 116:1-2

Nine Types of Listening

Staying Warm

Today's story comes in two parts. The first is based on Ecclesiastes 4, verse 10. It involves stumbling or struggling with something. This same verse also offers a suggestion for how to navigate those struggles. A companion.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. ¹⁰For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up!" - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

This is not only good advice for hiking or walking, but it is also good for going through our struggles in life.

Have you ever been in a situation that was really bothering you? I suppose you could just tough it out and say, "I don't need anyone's help." But there IS a better way.

What if you called a friend, someone you trust, and talked to them about it? Quite often the end result is that BOTH of you feel encouraged afterward. PLUS you have just grown closer to that friend.

The second part of today's story is found in the very next verse.

"If two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone?" - Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

Again, this involves struggling, maybe even spiritually. It is the reason for the church actually.

"They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Every day they continued to meet together." - Acts 2:42, 44, 46

That's the church! They met together, they struggled together, they loved together.

And speaking of love, Jesus warned us that a time would come when even the church would struggle - those who believe.

"And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold." - Matthew 24:12

Ecclesiastes 4, verse 12, contains the answer.

"How can one keep warm alone?"

DON'T BE ALONE!

This life is hard enough going through it day by day. Wouldn't it be better the share the bumps in the road with someone? A companion?

A friendship or a spouse is how we stay warm when our faith starts getting cold. When we need encouragement, they provide it. When we need to be rebuked, well, a good friend will provide that too.

And don't forget about our closest friend and companion, Jesus. God has promised never to leave us or forsake us, in both the Old and New Testaments (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5). You are never EVER alone.

I Will Never Leave You - Scripture Lullabies

Castle of Glass

Have you ever lost a loved one? Someone who is very near and dear to you? Then today's story just might be for you.

Thursday was a day unlike any other in recent memory. It all began by watching a very powerful Linkin Park video.

In the video a boy is visited by a naval officer who tells him that his father (a SEAL team soldier) has been killed in combat. He struggles mightily with this fact and ultimately comes to a heart felt decision - to follow in his father's footsteps - serving his country.

However, the grown boy then takes a slightly different path and becomes the one who tells other Gold Star families about THEIR lost loved ones. He, better than anyone else, knows exactly how they feel when they hear the sad news.

What a brave and powerfully moving video.

When we experience someone's death - someone we love - we can react in any number of ways. We can withdraw, we can lash out, or . . . we can turn a negative into a positive like this young man did.

At the end of the video there is this quote: 

"All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope." - Winston Churchill

I would add a few words to Mr. Churchill's list - "faith" and "love."

"Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13

Later, that same Thursday, I visited a dear friend of mine. We spoke about her relative's cancer diagnosis. We also spoke about the death of her husband several years ago. She had also just lost one of her godparents to cancer.

Then, on my way home, I received a message from a young friend who had just lost her aunt to cancer. Stories like theirs seem to come in waves. 

How can we help the hurting people in our lives? The verse above is all we really need to remember.

Our faith in God is what gives us hope. And that hope flows out of our hearts in the form of love. We can help ease their pain with a generous helping of love. Selfless, sacrificial love.

And, here's another single word to consider for your list of great things, Mr. Churchill.

Jesus.

There is a line in today's featured song that could be a prayer to our Lord and Savior.

"Wash the sorrow from off my skin
And show me how to be whole again."

Castle of Glass - Linkin Park

For Myshelle, Bob, Katie, Becky, Sky, Dave, Destiny, Dakota, Alex, Miranda, Jeanne, Kathy, Nate, Vicki, Tammy, and anyone else who has experienced loss. There is hope and love out there. His name is Jesus. Love you all.

One-On-One

Back in the early- to mid-eighties my brother and I played an Apple II video game called One-on-One: Dr. J vs. Larry Bird. Look at those graphics! Pretty lame by today's standards. But the game's title taught me something about relationships.

One-on-one conversations with someone can really allow them to open up and share what's on their hearts. Going for a walk, grabbing some coffee, it's all good.

Look at the example of Jesus and Nicodemus, Jesus and the woman at the well, Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. He was alone with each of these people and they really had an opportunity to ask questions and to learn. One-on-one, away from friends and people who know us, can be very beneficial. Even restorative.

There are two things that really make one-on-one conversations work: the willingness of a person to open up and share their struggles without fear of judgement. That can take some time before a person feels comfortable enough to share.

The second thing that is beneficial is if the other person is a good listener and asks the needed, and sometimes difficult, questions.

Words like trust, mercy, compassion, love, grace, and honesty are some of the required characteristics for a good listener.

The cool thing about talking with someone, one-on-one, through their pain, is that at the end you both usually end up being really good and close friends.

Jesus was, and is, really good at helping others through a tragedy or storm. The hardest part is for us to get to the point where we are willing to open up to Him, one-on-one, and trust in Him. But once we do that we have a friend for all eternity.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30

Empty Arms

When someone we love is suffering it can be one of the most empty feelings we will ever experience. It's incredibly draining. It's like wanting to give someone a hug but our arms are sadly empty.

There is a strong desire in the heart of the Christian to 'ease their pain'. Our only problem is that we ourselves don't have the power to do so. And that is why we pray. Because God DOES have that power.

Is there someone in your life who is suffering or in pain? Do you feel helpless? You're not alone. James had some good advice for us in God's Word.

"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray." - James 5:13

He then goes on to deliver this promise a few verses later:

"And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up." - James 5:15

The Prayer of Faith. What is that? Isn't ALL prayer a 'prayer of faith?'

"The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." - James 5:16

Where do I get "effectual fervent prayer?" And if my prayers don't get answered, does that mean that I am not righteous?

The thing we need to remember about prayer is that prayer is a request, not a command. If our prayer is pleasing to God, and if it is within His will, then the prayer request will be more likely to get God's attention.

But if what we desire in prayer is NOT granted, then we also need to be accepting of that result as well. Whether we like it or not.

I have a young friend who is suffering right now. I have prayed for her these past few days. Constantly, it seems. What if God doesn't heal her?

That's the wrong question to be asking. Here's the REAL question.

How will God be glorified in whatever happens to my friend? Well, my prayer has become continual and deeply personal. That brings glory to God. He has heard my prayer, and will continue to hear them.

But God's healing of my friend is up to Him. And to her. Perhaps she has been made to suffer because of her refusal to fully, and finally, trust God. And if she does that, won't we all be singing God's praises?

Will my pain and prayers for my friend be worth it if she finally trusts God? Absolutely! And isn't her finally placing her faith and hope in Jesus worth far more in God's eyes than any physical healing?

To God be the glory!

To God Be The Glory - Northern Baptist Association

Empathetic Love

In the last story that was posted here we briefly touched on Jesus' prayer to God the Father saying, "Not my will but yours." Keep that in mind today as we explore the topic of love (something we need more of these days) and a deeper, more sacrificial love that I am labeling 'empathetic love.' Our scripture for today is found in The Book of John - The Story of Lazarus.

You can read the entire story by clicking the link above, but we will just look at some key verses today. The first of which is verse three.

"So, the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”

The one you love is sick. This love is reaffirmed in verse five.

"Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister (Mary) and Lazarus."

By verses 11-14, Jesus already knows that Lazarus is dead. He waits two more days and then goes back to Judea to visit Mary and Martha, despite having the Jews try to stone him there previously.

Now we come to the key verse. After Jesus arrived at the home of his friends, He comforted them. Verse 33

"When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." 

This culminates in verse 34, the shortest verse in the Bible and one of the most revealing verses about Jesus.

"Jesus wept."

When one of our friends is hurting and in need of help, what do we do? This story of Jesus and His love for His friends gives us a list of things to keep in mind.

1. Go to the person. Make the trip.

2. Comfort them. Give them a hug.

3. Mourn with them. Feel their sadness.

4. Pray for them. Don't just say you'll pray.

5. Cheer them up. Remind them of good times.

6. Love them, like Jesus.

This season of Thanksgiving and Christmas can be hard for people who have lost someone near and dear to them. Be observant. Take the time. Sacrifice yourself for the hurting. And glorify God in everything you do.

Love Them Like Jesus - Casting Crowns

The Hugging Prayer

Maybe this is a little too personal but here goes. When we lift people up in prayer there is a critical step, perhaps even "a need," that seldom gets talked about. Yet it happens more often than we even know. I call it The Hugging Prayer.

To understand this prayer we must first understand a little bit about God.

"For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God." - 1 Corinthians 2:11

"You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar." - Psalm 139:2

God knows our thoughts before we even verbalize them! He knows our prayers before we even utter them. Keep that in mind, always.

Now to The Hugging Prayer. . . .

When we first learn of someone in need of prayer we are often with them. Sometimes not, but we are often in the presence of the personal actually in need of our prayers. Look at the steps involved in the prayer process.

1. Someone tells us of their need for prayer. Maybe it's an illness or an employment situation. It is usually some kind of personal struggle they are going though.
2. Our hearts become saddened upon the hearing of the news from this person.
3. We tell that person that we will pray for them.
4. We actually pray for them, if we remember.

Try introducing another step in this process. Let's call it Step 2A - The Hugging Prayer.

When we hear someone requesting prayer, don't tell them "I'll pray for you." PRAY FOR THEM, right then, right there! They're not asking if you will pray for them later in the day.

God knows our thoughts. I believe we actually begin praying for a person while they are telling us their prayer request, even though we are not actually praying in the traditional way. God knows our thoughts. He knows our heart. Remember?

Have you ever prayed for someone as you hugged them? Without knowing it, yes you have. Our hearts ache for them. God knows the compassion in our hearts. He knows our thoughts. AND our prayers.

For a close friend or loved one, upon hearing their sad news or request for prayer, we will often give them a hug. What better way to deliver a hug than when accompanied by prayer.

OR, we could make our prayers caring and meaningful enough to hug people WITH your prayers. LOVE deeply, PRAY deeply. We should be praying for people AS we are with them. When the bad news is fresh in our minds and in our hearts. "Pray! Hug!" or "Hug! Pray!" Multitask! Do both at the same time!

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." - Romans 8:26

An undelivered hug doesn't do anyone any good. The same for undelivered prayer. Hug and pray. We need to show our compassion for others and submit our prayers to God as we do so.

Colors of An Empath

Do you know an empath? You might see them everyday but you don't really know who they are. Not really. That's because they usually keep to themselves. Until someone they love is hurting, that is. That's when they come out. That's when they first begin to appear. Almost always after a storm.

I was out for a walk today when I happened upon the heart-shaped rock in the picture. I have walked the same path numerous times but had never noticed it before. As I wondered why I had never noticed it before it suddenly clicked. The ground around the rock was wet. It had just rained the night before.

Normally the dirt is the same color as the rock so I never noticed it. But after a storm the ground gets wet and the rock becomes visible. That's how empaths work. They look like normal people until someone they care about is hurting. Then they become amazingly visible.

Do you have certain empathetic qualities. I have a few. And now that I am thinking about it, nearly all of my relationships outside of family are the result of empathetic interactions. Do you have relationships like that? Relationships built upon a shared pain or by walking through someone's struggle with them.

My closest friendships are those formed through some storm we weathered together. If you think about it, isn't our relationship with God like that? We struggle, God draws us to Himself, and we emerge on the other side of our trials closer to God.

I think Jesus was an empath. When Lazarus had died and He went to see Mary and Martha Jesus was moved to tears.

³² Then, when Mary came where Jesus was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”

³³ Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. ³⁴ And He said, “Where have you laid him?”

They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.”

³⁵ Jesus wept. ³⁶ Then the Jews said, “See how He loved him!” - John 11:32-35

Jesus had compassion and felt Mary's pain when He saw her weeping. He was so moved that He gave of Himself and was moved to raise Lazarus from the dead.

The empaths we have in our lives are a valuable gift from God. They are the ones who come running in when others go running out. Hold them close. Their love desire is to love, like Christ first loved us when He sacrificed Himself for our sin.

Ten Traits of An Empath - Psychology Today

Deaf and Blind

Do you know what's going on in this picture? You might be able to figure it out based on the title of this story. This 15-year-old girl is "signing" into the hand of a 64-year-old deaf and blind man named Tim. But wait, there's more.

Tim was on a return flight after visiting his sister. The problem was there was no one to communicate with him on the plane.

Frustrated with their inability to communicate with the man, the crew asked if there was anyone onboard who could sign. There was. A 15-year-old girl named Clara.

The interesting thing about Clara was . . . she wasn't supposed to be on the flight. Her travel plans were altered when her previous flight was cancelled. And the rest is an amazing story. Like something only God could come u with.

After watching the video it suddenly occurred to me that I was not only watching a beautiful story of compassion, mercy and grace. I was watching a training video for evangelism. Think about it. What went on here? Clara displayed the perfect way to speak to someone about Jesus.

• God brought them together.
• They took time to get to know each other.
• There's nothing like being able to connect with an individual.
• Clara had empathy towards the deaf and blind man.
• Clara asked him many questions.
• Clara, and many others, had an interest in the man's story.
• She could speak his language.
• Use our skills for the good of others.

When we speak to someone about our faith we can't just ram it down their throats. We have to learn how to speak THEIR language. As Paul said, "Become all things to all people". Learn about their life's struggles. We need to have compassion and empathy for the person we are talking to. They are not the enemy. They are simply blind and deaf.

Ask questions. Show that you care. Use the gifts that God has given you to pour into the lives of those around you. When people see our compassion for others, when they can sense the love we have for them, that is when their eyes begin to open and their ears begin to hear.

There are plenty of spiritually "deaf and blind" people in the world. Many of them profess to be Christians. Jesus heals the deaf and the blind. Only He has that power to do that. Our job is simply to introduce people to Him. Take the time. Spread the love. Share the Good News.

"Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. 14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:15 For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’ - Matthew 13:15

Blind Deaf Man On Plane

How You Love Me

This past Wednesday my 91-year old mother passed away. It was a sad day to be sure. My sister was devastated. My brother too. We all were. This was our mom! But God (two of my favorite words in The Bible), He comforted me in a most amazing way.

Compassion has a strong pull on the believer. When any of my friends or family members are hurting, I have a strong desire to go to them and just be with them. Offering kind or encouraging words is what we Christians do.

Throughout the days before my mom's death I received many messages and texts from my friends at work. They knew what was going on and had compassion on me, as I would for them. Unfortunately, they were a 45-minute drive away from me at work.

Several years ago my pastor saw me refusing to be thanked for something I had done for someone. He pulled me aside and told me, "It's okay to allow people to thank you. They want to do it. Just take their thanks as crowns and lay them at the feet of Jesus." He was right.

This sad situation of my mother's was the same thing. I knew there were people at work wanting to express their sadness to me for the loss of my mom. Deep, meaningful talks and hugs were waiting to occur but my friends and I were apart from one another. The next thing I knew I was in my car.

On my way to visit these friends I thought about these work relationships. So many unique and special people. Each one different, yet the same in their desire to show compassion.

Love is a two-way street. It can be a one-way street I guess but it's not nearly as meaningful. When I got to work the outpouring of love was amazing. It made me feel better and it made my friends feel better.

When we go through a tragedy in our lives or a struggle, we often want to retreat into our shell and be miserable all by ourselves. That is the opposite of what God wants us to do.

"2Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." - Galatians 6:2

"3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

We are an emotional people. We live, we love, sometimes it can be difficult to express that love and to receive it. Let it happen. Make it happen. In doing so we will fulfill the law of Christ - to love one another.

You Love Me Anyway - Sidewalk Prophets

A Blessing and A Curse

We've all asked the question. How can God allow pain in the lives of those He loves? It's a big question. An understandable question. So, what's the answer? What I am about to tell you is extremely personal and intimate but it is also the truth. It is the answer we all seek.

Each of us knows someone who has gone through a tragedy in their lives. We too have gone through such things. How do we handle those situations? What do we do? What do we say?

Here's how it happens.

We talk to someone at work or school. We ask them how their day was. And, if they are willing, they tell us. After they tell us their story, if it is a particularly painful one, we have compassion on them and walk with them for a short while as they go through the pain of a loss or a particular struggle. It becomes both a blessing and a curse to do so.

We can receive criticism from family members or our bosses for "spending too much time" with someone. And it does take time. There is sacrifice involved. I call it "a curse" but it really isn't because we are willing to make that sacrifice. It is a blessing to serve God in such a way.

Having compassion for someone and coming along side them will eventually evolve from a painful situation to a trusting loving one. We hear words like, "Thank you SO much!" "I don't know what I would have done without you." "We love you." How can that NOT be a blessing to hear those things.

Most of the friendships we have - tight, close, personal - have come out of experiences like this. A messy divorce, the death of a close friend and mentor, verbal and mental abuse, a miscarriage, drug addiction, alcoholism, a battle with cancer, physical pain, depression. Love is worth wading through all those things!

We are commanded to "love one another". When we place our hearts in God's hands through our willingness to follow Christ, it comes with the territory. We can't help ourselves. It is a gift of the Holy Spirit.

^"34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. ³⁵ Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” - John 13:34-35

Having such close friends, refined by such fire, may seem like a curse at first but they always become a blessing because they are based in faith and true love for our fellow man/woman. Yes, there is pain in the beginning. But God makes beauty from pain. It's what He does.

And that's the answer to the opening question, I think. God allows pain and suffering so we can emerge on the other side of it stronger and more understanding of others who have gone through similar things. Struggles and pain grow us so that we in turn can help others going through the same thing. We end up doing the same thing that Jesus did for us. And that can only lead to a deeply personal, loving relationship. And THAT is what God wants for us and from us. Beauty from pain.

Beauty From Pain - Superchick

Blackbirds II: The Second Coming

One of things I really enjoy doing is taking a walk in God's creation while reading my Bible. I can't always read . . . but when I do . . . it's usually on asphalt. :)

We have an asphalt walking trail where I work in Neenah. It's called The Friendship Trail. Kind of a generic name, although I have made some friends on the trail and I usually go walking with my best friend on the trail at lunchtime so I guess the name fits.

My friend and I were out walking the other day when we noticed a jogger approaching us. He was just jogging along, minding his own business. Suddenly a bird flew out of a tree and pecked him on the head from behind. The guy never saw it coming. And look at that beak! Ouch!!

I yelled out, "I saw that!" chastising the Red-Winged Blackbird that had just attacked someone on the so called "Friendship Trail."

"What was that? A bird?" the jogger asked.

"Yup. Red-Winged Blackbird. Their eggs have hatched and they are VERY protective of their young."

The following day I was out walking all by myself. Same trail. Same time. I saw another jogger, a woman this time, approaching the "danger zone." Guess what I did. I yelled out a warning.

"Watch out for the birds!! They're angry today!"

"I know! I got attacked yesterday!" was her reply, as she turned her head around - scanning. Danger was literally in the air.

Let me pause right here to have you read some scripture.

"The word of the Lord came to me: 2 “Son of man, speak to your people and say to them, If I bring the sword upon a land, and the people of the land take a man from among them, and make him their watchman, 3 and if he sees the sword coming upon the land and blows the trumpet and warns the people, 4 then if anyone who hears the sound of the trumpet does not take warning, and the sword comes and takes him away, his blood shall be upon his own head. 5 He heard the sound of the trumpet and did not take warning; his blood shall be upon himself. But if he had taken warning, he would have saved his life. 6 But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet, so that the people are not warned, and the sword comes and takes any one of them, that person is taken away in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at the watchman's hand." - Ezekiel 33:1-6

How does that apply to the blackbirds? Well, if I had not warned the lady she could have been attacked. Her blood would have been on MY hands.

And how does that apply to our walk with Jesus? Let me ask you this? Are you the jogger or the watchman? When you see a friend doing something wrong, do you lovingly correct them? Do you ask them a question like, "I saw you hide a bag of something in your purse when that cop came by. What is it? What are you doing?"

Do you have an accountability partner? Is there someone in your life who keeps an eye on you and is not afraid to confront you if that catch you doing something bad?

I have several accountability partners. When they speak, I listen, because I know they love me and care about me and don't want me to make mistakes I will regret later. They don't want me to get hurt when they KNOW I will.

Who are YOU accountable to? When everyone has gone home and you are all alone, what do you do when no one is watching. Hey. SOMEONE is ALWAYS watching. God.

And don't be afraid to speak up. Somebody's life may depend on it. And, based on the verses above, the life you save might be your own.

To Save A Life Movie Trailer

How To Save A Life - The Fray

Empathy

"Empathy is the experience of understanding another person's condition from their perspective. You place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling." - Psychology Today

Empathy, I think, is both good and bad. It is good in that when we have empathy for someone we ourselves hurt. We can relate to what someone is going through because we "feel their pain." It's like we're going through the experience, whatever it is, along WITH the person it's happening to. We KNOW what they are feeling. Empathy is bad . . . for that very same reason.

I have a friend whose family lost their pet dog recently. To them, their dog was part of the family and they grieved for their dog just like they would a family member. For those who have never lost a pet to death it is hard to have empathy for that grieving person because they have never gone through that experience themselves.

In my life, I have a special empathy for people whose parents develop Alzheimer's. My father had it. I know what it's like to go through that. I know what my mom went through, living with Alzheimer's everyday for years. I have empathy for that. I have LIVED that.

One of my daughter's friends was recently diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. I have lost several good friends to cancer. I can empathize. It is our experience in these emotional situations that creates our empathy in similar situations when we encounter them.

Some people, however, do not feel empathy for others. It might be because they have not experienced the death of a loved one, for example, to really know exactly how they should feel. But it is also possible that they simply do not have the ability to empathize. It's not in their DNA so to speak. Which would lead one to believe that empathy for others is a God-given gift.

Can you imagine God's empathy? How He must hurt. Imagine the pain you have felt in your life and multiply it by billions. That's a lot of pain!

God's love is unmeasurable. So is His empathy towards those who are hurting - all of us.

Here is a question to ponder. What does a holy and just God do when all the people He created have sinned against Him - an offense punishable by death. "The wages of sin is death" is what it says in Romans 6:23. The answer is in the Book of John. You've heard it before. John 3:16

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

THAT is empathy!!

How much empathy do we show for others when we encounter someone who is suffering? Some but not as much as God would. Imagine THIS scenario:

A young family is grieving over the loss of their baby girl. She didn't even make it two days in this world before she died. The mother and father hold each other and cry as they stand next to their daughters lifeless body.

Suddenly an older man walks into the room and, holding out a small bundle towards them, says, "This is my Son, in whom I am well pleased. I offer him to you freely. A gift to remove your pain."

Unbelievable, right? Yet God did that very thing when He sent Jesus to earth to die in OUR place.

Empathy? I'd say that God exhibits empathy alright! And we have been created in His image. We strive to become more and more like Him as we grow in our faith. What will we do today when we encounter someone who is hurting? How will we react? Will we place their pain above ours? I think that is part of what God wants us to become - selfless, compassionate, loving . . . empathetic.

Today, when you encounter someone who is hurting or grieving, even going through a really bad day, will you scroll past their Facebook post? Or will you pause, say a prayer, and send them an encouraging message?

May God create in us a humble, loving and empathetic heart. Be willing to serve in such a way and you will be pleasing your Heavenly Father.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." - Romans 12:15

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets." - Matthew 7:12

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." - John 15:12

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." - Philippians 2:3

Empathy