45 and Counting

Today's story is about love, sacrifice, submission, devotion, endurance, patience, trust, hope, faith, and grace. It's about marriage.

My wife and I have been married for 45 years. Today. We are still in love and still devoted to one another. That's somewhat rare these days, I think.

So, what's the key? I'd say 'love' but Jesus told us that we are to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44) so I'm not sure love is the entire answer.

I think the key to a successful, lengthy marriage is actually sacrifice. And submission.

"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." - Ephesians 5:1-2

Following God's example. Is that not submitting to His will? And "the way of love" that Paul is taking about here is sacrifice. Sacrifice and submission. Let's keep reading in Ephesians.

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." - Ephesians 5:21

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" - Ephesians 5:25

Submit and sacrifice.

If Jesus is my model as a husband, I must sacrifice myself, or should I say my SELF, for my bride.

Example: My wife has a bad back. So do I. One of the household, chores that really bothers my wife's back is vacuuming. Therefore, I volunteered to do all the vacuuming in our house. There are plenty of things I would rather be doing besides vacuuming the carpet, but I would rather vacuum than see my wife in pain.

We're going on a trip to Door County this weekend. My wife knows that I don't like shopping, so she has arranged for me to play disc golf with a relative while she goes and supports the local economy. She was thinking about me and my desires before her own.

Marriage is not 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage is 100-100.

My wife and I have lasted 45 years together. Why? Because we love each other more than we love ourselves. And that, my friends, is the key to ANY successful relationship.

The Betrothal

Your best decisions have gotten you to the place where you are right now. So, how have you done? Satisfied? Happy?

We all make decisions in life. Some good. Some bad. But we make them. And then we have to live with the results.

In the Galilean wedding ceremony of old the groom poured a cup of wine for his would-be bride. The bride had to make a simple choice. She could hand the cup back, thereby rejecting the groom's proposal, or she could drink the cup agreeing to the covenant of marriage. Does that sound familiar? Communion maybe?

"Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. 28This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 29I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” - Matthew 26:27-29

Do you see any similarities between the Galilean weeding ceremony and Jesus offering a "new covenant" to His disciples? Did you know that 11 of the 12 disciples were all Galileans? They were. They would have all recognized what Jesus said and did as a Galilean betrothal ceremony. It is not surprising then that Jesus referred to Himself in scripture as "the bridegroom" and The Church as His bride?

Each of us has a decision to make in this life. Are we going to choose to be "married" to Jesus by accepting His free offering of salvation? Or will we refuse and reject the bridegroom's proposal? The choice is ours. It's yours.

What will you do? The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

Before The Wrath Preview

Good Days

When was your last really good day? Was it yesterday? Last week? You HAVE had a good day, haven't you?

Life is a series of ups and downs. Some days are good, some days are bad. I had a really good day on Friday. Today I am not feeling so good.

Do you think God has good days and bad days? I'm not sure. I'd say yes but I think God is above all these earthly classifications. God simply IS.

Today the sun is shining brightly. Quite a contrast to the weekend when it was cloudy, raining and snowing. Still, no matter what the weather, I have a list of things that I think make up a good day.

1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Hope
5. Faith

All five of these can be summed up in just one word - God. Think about it. When we place our hope and faith in God, we are at peace. In that peace we come to know love and the joy it brings, both in the giving of it and in the receiving.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13

Think about a wedding day. Whether it takes place in good weather or bad, it is the best of days. Is your spirit married to the bridegroom, Jesus?

When we place our faith in Jesus we are given ALL these things. It's like a wedding where two come together as one. Through our faith there is peace and joy and there is love and hope. There are no ups and downs really. There is simply God. And God is love.

The Weding Song - Paul Stookey

Bring The Rain

Are you having sex outside of marriage? Are you more concerned about football than you are about worship? Do you care more about money or work than about God, family or others? Then this is your lucky day!

There is a rather ugly word in the Bible - fornication. Here is its definition.

fornication - consensual sexual intercourse between two persons not married to each other.

Here is the word used in a sentence.

"Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God." - 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Does that scare you? You're not alone. Verses nine and ten include a lot of people in our society today. Here's an encouraging verse to go along with these two convicting ones. Verse 11.

"And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." - 1 Corinthians 6:11

What? You mean there's hope? A way out? YES!! Here's all you have to do:

1. Go to God in prayer 
2. Seek His forgiveness.
3. Read His Word.
4. KEEP His Word.

The good news is God loves us. He wants the best for us. And by "the best" I mean He wants a marriage relationship with you! No adultery. No fornication. Purity! He wants us to have no sex outside of marriage - no relationships with idols outside of our marriage with Him. God wants to be first in our lives, not something we do on Sundays. Everyday! Every minute of every hour. God loves us! How much do we love Him?

"Drip down, O heavens, from above, And let the clouds pour down righteousness; Let the earth open up and salvation bear fruit, And righteousness spring up with it. I, the LORD, have created it." - Isaiah 45:8

Bring the rain.

Bring The Rain - MercyMe

My Happy Place

I have a friend whose happy place is a cabin up north. She goes there to forget about work and just unplug with a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine, and her family. Everybody needs a place like that I think. Do YOU have a happy place?

Yesterday my wife and I celebrated our 42nd wedding anniversary. We didn't have a big party. We didn't get each other anniversary gifts or cards. We simply spent the day together, alone, by ourselves.

This is not a complaint about being alone on our anniversary. Not at all. My wife and I were alone quite intentionally! That's how we began. Alone, together.

We have our differences. Religion and politics have started more that one "discussion" in our house. But what keeps us together is our love for one another. Our love is stronger than all those things.

Is it any wonder that God's "first and greatest commandment" is to love? Love God and love each other. It's a pretty simple command but it is also a difficult one to keep.

"37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ - Matthew 22:37-39

The key to love is selflessness. Thinking of the other before we think of ourselves.

But what happens when our "happy place" is threatened or, God forbid, even removed? What happens when we lose the very thing that makes us the happiest?

This might be a little tough to hear but . . . we should not be interested in our own happiness. Yes, we all want to be happy but think about it for a minute. Should our "happiness" be dependent on other people? Honestly, I think our happiness has got to be dependent upon ourselves, not other people, places or things. It is our attitude towards God that determines more than happiness. It determines our joy!

I finished reading to Book of Job not that long ago. Job lost everything - his sons and daughters, his possessions. Yet Job kept His faith in God. Sure he complained about things. Sure he got upset and frustrated. But when God is foremost in our lives, as He was in Job's, when God is the most important thing about us, God sees that and will bless us.

There is nothing I can say to those who have lost a loved one that will make them feel happy. But I DO know that when we find our joy in the Lord He will give us the desires of our hearts. He has promised us that! And doesn't that sound like a happy place to be?

Without You - For King and Country

Lifest 2019 - Last Story

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the porta-potty at Lifest. Or was it on the way back? Doesn't matter. What matters is I made it to the porta-potty!!

On my way to the blue "ovens of death" I had to pass through the line of people waiting for the Ferris wheel. Sighting an opening I said, "Wow, Moses must have been here. He parted the crowd!"

I was trying to be funny (and failing) but I think God knew how much I needed to go to the bathroom. LOL!

Anyway, after I finished my business, I opened the door and saw two friends of mine approaching. We talked and walked a bit but then it was time to go - back to my seat that is. So I waded through the Ferris wheel line once again. That's when I felt someone grab my arm.

"Do you remember me?" a lady asked.

"Umm, sure!!"

Mmm, not really. The face was familiar but the name? Nope.

As she told her he guy she was with how she knew me I remembered where I had met her - walking at work during my lunch hour - four or five years ago!

At that time this lady had stopped my friend Gayle and me as we were out walking over lunch and asked us if we were Christians. Why did she ask that of us? She had seen Gayle and I praying together a few years earlier. Wow.

"Yes," Gayle and I replied all those years ago. She then proceeded to ask for prayers for her and her husband, in tears. We prayed for her right then and there.

Fast forward to Lifest again and she said, "This is my husband," introducing me to the good-looking guy with her.

"How are things?" I carefully asked. She nodded and smiled.

"Good. We're good."

I fought back the tears.

What are the chances of a meeting like that? How awesome is it that God hears our prayers. And then answers them! This year at Lifest did not disappoint those who were seeking to be recharged in their faith, or finally finding Him. The bands, the conversations - all singing God's praises and worshiping The One who makes all these things possible. Awesome!

"19 Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." - Isaiah 43:19

Completely - Jen Ledger

The Parable of The Puzzle

I have been retired for a year now. There are a lot of things I have discovered about this retirement lifestyle change. The first is, I really like it. As I tell all who ask how retirement is going, "I love it. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want." As I have also discovered, that's not always a good thing.

There are times when I am busy - working on the tiny house I am building or building beds for kids who don't have one. or simply just reading my Bible. But there are also times I have nothing to do. What do I do when that occurs? I put together puzzles.

I never really thought about it before but I have been putting puzzles together my entire life. As an architectural draftsman I drew plans for buildings. I would have to figure out how all the walls and windows went together before anyone actually built anything.

Building my tiny home is no different. How can I cramp a lifestyle into 215 square feet? You just figure it out. I recently built a bed from a video I saw on YouTube. Someone asked me, "How did you know how to build the bed? Where did you get your plans?" My reply was, "I didn't have any plans. I just figured it out and built it."

Life is a lot like that. We end up just figuring stuff out along the way. Relationships are like that too.

We live in a throw-away culture. It's broken? Well, throw it out and get another one.

I recently put together a puzzle. The one pictured above. 1000 pieces. Very enjoyable. There are many "little puzzles" within the bigger puzzle. However, when I got to the end I discovered that one of the puzzle pieces was missing. A little disappointing, yes. But I still enjoyed putting the puzzle together. I still enjoyed completing the challenge. That's the way relationships should be.

We can't just say, "Well, THAT didn't work. Time to take this old relationship to Goodwill and try someone new." That's not how God wants to live our lives or our relationships. Every relationship is full of challenges. We are not supposed to throw out the puzzle because one piece is missing or damaged.

I have put together puzzles with a missing pieces and damaged pieces. Sure, the finished product wasn't what I was thinking it would be but I finished it. I finished the challenge. May each of us treat our relationships like puzzles. Assemble the pieces, enjoy the challenge, and even if there are pieces missing or damaged in some way, stand back and look at the whole picture and what you and God have made.

“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." - Ephesians 4:2

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." - Mark 10:9

Christmas Letter 2018

For those who didn't get my 2018 Christmas letter, here it is!

The stereotypical Christmas letter is filled with pictures and descriptions of summer vacations, family reunions, weddings and sporting events. These are all wonderful things that happen in our lives but they are not really about Christmas. So, I am not going to write about any of those. I dislike the “typical” or “expected” things in life. Why? Because Jesus is seldom found in places like that. Jesus is atypical and a Messiah’s birth to human parents is hardly what was expected. So, instead I will offer you an atypical Christmas story for your consideration. This story is true and it happened this past summer.

This past July I officiated at a wedding. I tell you that only for you to visualize the wedding from the point of view I had. It was literally the best seat in the house. After the guests were seated I walked up front along with the groom and we waited for the bride to present herself. And when she did all heads turned and watched as this bride came forward and joined hands with her bridegroom. She was absolutely beautiful.

Previously I had only seen the bride wearing blue jeans and a sweatshirt. What a change I saw that day, standing up front of everything. This bride had changed from the typical to the atypical. From the norm to something set apart and beautiful.

In the Bible Jesus is referred to as “the Bridegroom” and the church, those who believe in Him, are called “the bride”. It is written that one day the bride will join the bridegroom. There will be an amazing wedding feast in heaven on that day.

"6 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, “Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. 7 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; 8 it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure” - for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. 9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” - Revelation 19:6-9

What a beautiful picture of a wedding! But consider this. Read verse eight again. “It was granted to her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure.” It goes on to say that the fine linen is actually “the righteous deeds of the saints.” That’s you and me, the bride! How can our deeds be made righteous? Isaiah 64:6 says “all our righteous deeds are like filthy rags.” How can we be made bright and pure?

Enter Jesus, the Lamb, the Bridegroom. Jesus was born into the world, fully God and fully man, to live a sinless life and to be sacrificed for OUR sins. His righteousness imputed to us, thereby making us bright and pure in God’s eyes. People who place their faith, hope and trust in Jesus are “the bride”  – made bright and pure by Jesus. It is nothing we have done.

God gave us Jesus. We celebrate His birth because it is only through Him and His sacrifice, that we have been made ready for that wedding day with Jesus. This Christmas, when you look at a nativity scene, look at the baby Jesus in an atypical way. See Him as the first gift given for OUR wedding day with Jesus. Jesus Himself - born in manger – as a wedding gift. It was His sacrifice that made us bright and pure. And THAT is why we celebrate. We celebrate The Gift.

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for the gift of Jesus. You knew exactly what we needed and you provided that for us. Although Jesus was born in a lowly manger, He is now seated at Your right hand – King of Kings and Lord of Lords. May everyone who reads this letter be blessed and give You thanks for the most perfect Christmas gift, and wedding gift, ever given. It is in the beautiful name of Jesus that I pray. Amen.

And now, the family news:

Probably the most significant thing that happened in our family this year was the death of my mom back in June. I retired back in March and officiated at a wedding in July (see pictures above). In August Bev and I attended the annual Johnson family reunion in Michigan. Then we took a two-week trip at the end of September and visited St. Louis, Pawhuska Oklahoma, Dallas, Waco, South Padre Island and Hot Springs, Arkansas. Thank you, Susan, for your amazing southern hospitality.

Tiny house construction continues, slower now with the colder temperatures. I continue to minister to young adults in Central Wisconsin and volunteer at the local food pantry. Bev still works at Waupaca County WIC (two more years), coordinates the layette ministry at church and also volunteers at the Waupaca Community Garden.

Our two children are healthy, employed, married and in love with their kids, our grandchildren. We enjoy spoiling all of them as often as we can.

May this Christmas bring you love, peace and joy as we remember our most prefect Christmas gift – Jesus.

The Parable of The Holey Sock

I caught my wife darning one of my socks the other day. Apparently, her silly husband likes to walk around in his stocking feet and wear holes in his socks, thereby causing more work for his wife.

"If you'd only wear your slippers!" she tells me. She shakes her head and keeps right on darning the sock.

Here we have a typical example of a conflict of interests. On one hand, my wife doesn't like darning socks. It takes time out of her busy schedule to do something she really doesn't want to do in the first place. That can be frustrating. It can put a strain on a relationship, especially when her husband doesn't like wearing his slippers.

My wife also doesn't like spending money on socks when she COULD be spending it on her grandkids. Doubly frustrating.

On my side of the issue, I don't always want to wear my slippers. I like walking around in my stocking feet, sliding around on the kitchen floor like Tom Cruise (not really). I guess I could go without wearing socks but then my feet would get cold. What's a man to do? Well, that's easy.

The verse I find myself going back to time and time again is Ephesians 5:25

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." - Ephesians 5:25

I reached into my sock drawer this morning and grabbed a pair of socks. I was about to put them on when I noticed that one of the socks had been repaired. I held it in my hand and looked and the stitching my wife had done. There were a lot of stitches in that sock!

As I pulled the sock on I reflected on that Ephesians 5 verse. Previously, in Ephesians 5, I also reflected on the wife in Paul's example of a biblical marriage.

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." - Ephesians 5:22

My wife had already submitted to my wishes. She had fixed my socks, she had thereby saved money for her grandkids. What had I done in my role as a husband? I'll tell you what I did. I smiled and I put my slippers on over my socks.

There's no one home as I write this. I could have walked around in my stocking feet. My wife would never have known, until she saw the next holey sock. But I would have known. I made the small sacrifice of wearing my slippers around the house to honor my wife and to honor God.

What bigger relationship issues could we solve by sacrificing ourselves for our spouses? What can we do to make someone's life easier? Shouldn't we make that sacrifice?

You and I are socks. Our sin is the hole. God chose to fix us through our belief in His Son, Jesus. Aren't you glad He chose to mend us and make us whole rather than just throwing us in the garbage?

How To Repair A Hole In A Sock With Darning

Perfection

Photo by David Thomaz

Marriage. Most of want a perfect one. And, if done right, marriage can become an amazingly beautiful and wonderful thing. If done wrong however, it can turn into an ugly, frustrating mess. To be honest, most marriages today are probably somewhere in between. That's not where they were designed to be. A marriage should really be perfection.

I am preparing to officiate at a wedding in a few weeks. At first I was going to speak on Paul's letter to the church in Ephesus from Ephesians 5 - Instructions for Christian Households. But then I heard something from the Book of Luke this past Sunday that altered my decision. It was during communion.

^"20 Likewise He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you." - Luke 20:22

Before we get started today, we need to define a word - covenant. This is from Merriam - Webster's Dictionary.

Covenant - a usually formal, solemn, and binding agreement, a written agreement or promise usually under seal between two or more parties especially for the performance of some action.

Marriage is a covenant.

Now let's go to Ephesians 5. 2000 years ago, in a culture much different from ours today,husbands and wives had different roles. Women were treated much like property, with benefits, if you will. I'd like you to read the text and then linger a bit at verse 32.

²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²² Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - ³⁰ for we are members of his body. ³¹ “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³² This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:21-33

Paul describes a marriage relationship the same as our relationship with Christ! As Christians, we are "the bride of Christ." Jesus is the bride groom. We are to be dressed in white, pure, radiant, without stain or blemish. Holy and blameless!

How can we possibly do that? We are all sinners. We are all stained. We ALL have blemishes. None of us are worthy.

Ah, but God . . .

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

We are made perfectly blameless through our faith in Christ - "whoever believes in Him."

The best marriages today are the once based in faith. Why? Because that's how they were designed to work. Marriage is like a triangle. The closer a married couple gets to God, the closer they automatically get to each other. Draw closer to God today and then watch what happens to your relationships. Listen to this song, and while you do, remember that "God IS love."

The Wedding Song - Paul Stookey

Who Done It?

What does a late 50's black and white television show about a private detective have to do with a 21st century example of a successful marriage? Plenty!

Before I give you the answer to that opening question I'd like you to read a portion of Ephesians 5 for me and keep it in mind as you continue to read.

"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." - Ephesians 5:1-2 & 21

Some read those verses and think about a husband and wife submitting to one another in the bedroom. It goes much deeper than that. When I read that verse about submitting to one another it's about sacrifice. Sacrificing our personal desires for the sake of something bigger. Enter Peter Gunn.

When my wife and I eat dinner it is usually in the living room watching television. Television and I don't play well together. Most of the shows my wife watches I'd just as soon pass by. Cooking shows, Good Morning America, Hallmark movies - you get the picture.

One thing I have discovered though is this: My wife and I both enjoy a good mystery. That's one type of TV show we can sit down and watch together. This past fall we were watching Perry Mason. Now it's Peter Gunn. Before those shows it was Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Homes. See the pattern?

We have found something we like to do together and we do it. Intentionally. I personally would rather turn off he television while my wife would love to sit and watch The Sound of Music all night long. But we have found some common ground . . . in Peter Gunn.

The theme song for the show is now sung around the house - a reminder of us doing something . . . together. As relationships age people can sometimes grow apart. Successful marriages are those that find a way to stay together even though interests change. Often, by sacrificing and submitting to the other's desires, we can actually grow closer to one another. Pretty good advice from Paul!

How is your relationship with Jesus going? Is it thriving? Or are you and Jesus growing apart? If you are feeling distant from Him, take some steps to get closer. We are always the ones who stray, not Him. Relationships take work!

Do you like to read? Read the Bible! Do you like to sing? Sing hymns of praise! How high can your love for Jesus grow if you nurture it and feed it and water it and care for it? Well, how high is the moon?

How High The Moon - Lola Albright (from the Peter Gunn TV show)
Peter Gunn Theme - Henry Mancini

One True Love

Yesterday my wife and I celebrated 40 years of marriage. How did we last that long in a world where over half of all marriages end in divorce? That's an easy question to answer. All you have to do is find the love of your life. Your one true love.

My wife and I were married in 1977 (in case you're bad at math) and we have not stopped loving each other since.

I have had people ask me, "How did you know that Bev was "the one"?" My answer is always a cryptic, "Oh, YOU'LL KNOW!" I knew.

My wife and I met at the end of summer. We had two weeks together before we both went back to school. By the end of those two weeks . . . I knew. The next few months apart were filled with letters and phone calls until October 17th came around and we were both home from school. I proposed. She said yes. And we've been a couple ever since.

It wasn't always easy. There were occasional bumps in the road, but they were few and far between. The secret to our success as a married couple is simple. Love. Unconditional, sacrificial love. It was that unconditional love that solved every problem, healed every wound and restored every cracked and chipped moment to "better than new". It was sacrificial love that headed off other differences in favor of the greater good - our marriage.

There are two verses that come to mind when I try to explain the marriage commitment. The first verse if from 1st John.

"God is love." - 1 John 4:8

Simple verse, complex concept. Do you know God? Is He your Lord and Savior? If you answered "yes" to those questions you know exactly what the love is I'm talking about. If you answered "no", I'm sorry. You might think you know what love is, as defined by the world, but you really have never experienced the greatest love of all. When I was younger, I thought I knew what love was. But that was before I met Jesus.

The second verse is kind of like the first in a way. It's from the Book of Ephesians.

"²¹ Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." - Ephesians 5:21

After this verse Paul goes on to explain the roles of husband and wife and the love, respect and sacrifice we have for one another. It's not until verse 31 that we learn that Paul is talking about our relationship (the bride) with Jesus (the Groom).

Love involves sacrifice, it involves submission, it involves surrender of our own personal will in favor of something greater, bigger and higher - our marriage. Our marriage to Christ.

I loved my wife in an earthly sense when we first met. As the years went by and we began to follow God's desires for our marriage, it was only then that we became better, together. The same is true for our faith. When God is part of a marriage it can't help but succeed.

One more verse to leave you with. Ecclesiastes 4:12

"A triple-braided cord is not easily broken."

If the husband is one strand and the wife is the second . . . who do you think is the third strand in the triple-braided cord? :)

I'll close with two of our favorite songs. We always dance to the first one . . . and the second one . . . well, that's where the love of my life and I are going to celebrate our 40th. And the third link is to a video. It displays how my wife and I react inside when we are ever apart for any amount of time.

I love you, my bride. My love for God does not diminish my love for you. It enhances it.

Weekend In New England - Barry Manilow
Somewhere In Time Theme - John Barry
Richard and Elise Reunited - Somewhere In Time

A Passionate Love

"How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves. All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves . . ."

An excerpt from some cheap porn novel perhaps? Nope. Bible verses.

I have heard it said, "Do NOT teach The Song of Songs, the Book of the Bible where those verses came from, to middle school boys. LOL! That's probably good advice. The words in the book can get pretty steamy!

"How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies."

Yikes! But the Song of Songs is not written about a romance between some ancient man and woman. It is a story, veiled to be sure, about our relationship with God. Huh? Yes, that's right. The picture at the beginning of the story is a selfie - it's an image of you and me. More importantly, it is a picture of the relationship between "the bride of Christ" (us) and God.

If you read just a little more closely you can begin to see the clues into this passionate romance.

"Who is this coming up from the wilderness like a column of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and incense made from all the spices of the merchant?" - Song of Songs 3:6

Who came out of the wilderness in the Bible? The Jewish people did. And who led them?

"By day the LORD went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night." - Exodus 13:21

And who was "perfumed with myrrh and incense made from all the spices of the merchant?" It was Jesus!

"On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh." - Matthew 2:11

Our relationship with God is to be like a husband and wife. Honoring, respecting, submitting. and devoted.

Do you remember your first love? How special was that relationship! The man or woman you married . . . wasn't that relationship one-of-a-kind and deeply passionate? That's the way our relationship should be with God.

When I was in college and my girlfriend would send me letter, oh, how I treasured those. I read them over and over again. I smelled them, hoping for a hint of her perfume that would remind me of our times together. I still have those letters, some 40+ years later. I love my wife. There is no one like her in my life. Never was never shall be. Isn't that how our relationship with God should be?

I encourage you to read Song of Songs sometime soon and, as you do so, think of your relationship with God. Do you have that longing for Him? Do you have that passion? I hope you do. God has that passion and love for YOU! :)

Song of Songs - Jesus Culture (with Martin Smith)

Cause For Divorce?

Before I get started let me just say that this story is NOT about divorce in the usual marital sense. It is, but it isn't. It is about our failure to live up to a commitment we once made, as Christians . . . to God.

In the Book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul describes our relationship with God as a marriage. Jesus is the bridegroom and we are the bride. Read these verses from Ephesians, not as they apply to earthly marriage relationships, but with the emphasis on our relation ship with Christ.

^"22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. ²⁴ Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." - Ephesians 5:22-24

• First, we are to submit to The Lord (v22). Our will should be the same as His. We should conform to His way of thinking. Do we do that? Are we seeking His will in everything we do? In everything we say? What would He want us to do?
• Second, God is our "head", our boss, our commander, our leader (v23). We are to obey His commands, His decisions, His decrees.
• Third, we are to remember that Jesus died for us, paying the price for OUR sin. He is our savior (v23).
• Fourth, We must be subject to Him in everything (v24). There is a Greek word for that - panti. It means . . . everything.

Thinking of moving in with your boyfriend? If you submit to the Lord you won't. That's fornication. It's a sin and against God's will. Are you thinking of gorging yourself on pizza and sweets while others around you are going hungry? That's a sin. Watching the game instead of going to worship? That's a sin. You are placing your needs above God's. I could go on but you get the point.

According to a recent survey about failed marriages, the most common reason given for divorce(73%) was a "lack of commitment." Are we committed in our marriage with Jesus? Probably not to the extent we should be I fear.

Other reasons given as causes of divorce were arguing (56%) and infidelity (55%). Do we disagree with God's laws? Have we broken any of the Ten Commandments? I have. Have we been unfaithful to God? I already mentioned skipping a worship service to watch a Packers game. Are we unfaithful in other ways? Lack of service perhaps? Failure to pray as often as we should or to spend time reading The Bible?

These are all things our "Ephesians 5 husband" wants us to do. We are to be subject to Him, yet most of us are not. Here's the tough question. Based on today's top three reasons for divorce, does Jesus have a case against us? Sadly, I think He does. So, why doesn't He divorce us?

Well, that's easy to answer. It's His unconditional love for us. His desire that "none should perish" (2 Peter 3:9). His desire to "gather us to Himself as a mother hen protects her chicks (Matthew 23:37). God loves us so much He died for us (Romans 5:8)!

I need to work on my marriage with Jesus. I want to have that type of marriage where we love each other, encourage each other and do things for each other. We pray together, finish each others sentences and praise God for the marriage arrangement He has given us. It works well if we are devoted to one another. Are we holding up our end of things? In ALL things?

At The Cross - Chris Tomlin

A Little Piece of Heaven

Well, I had a story all written for this morning, but now I find myself writing a brand new one, all because I listened to a Skillet song on my way in to work.

The song is about a young couple who found themselves pregnant. Not married, no money, no jobs, they wondered how they could possibly take care of a child. So they decided to terminate the pregnancy. They had an abortion.

But soon afterward they found themselves feeling terribly guilty for what they had done. They felt ashamed and the memory of their decision haunted them every minute of every day. They went see a counselor, it got do bad.

The counselor told them to treat their abortion like a death in the family so they did just that by doing three things. 1). They held a funeral. 2). they bought a headstone for a grave. And 3). they named their baby. This song was written from the father's viewpoint, sung to his aborted daughter.

Lucy - Skillet (with the story behind the song)

I listened to that song, as I said, on my way to work this morning. I couldn't help but shed a tear. You see, my daughter and her husband are trying to have a baby right now. They would give anything to be able to hold a young life like Lucy's in their hands right now.

And so this morning I prayed for all the young mothers and fathers of the world. That they might truly appreciate the gift of the life they have been given. And for the mothers and fathers who find they can't have children. I pray for them as well. I pray for young children in orphanages, on street corners, and in alley ways. May we always remember your name.

Won't you please join me in prayer as we seek mercy for these young souls. And also pray that God might take the ones that have been given up, abandoned, and thrown in the garbage to die. May these young mothers and father choose life over death. May they chose adoption rather than abortion. There are so many young couples who want children. And so many young babies who need loving parents. God, please, help us in this area. Help us chose life. Amen.

Prayerful Consideration

On my way home from work Thursday night I was listening to a radio show, In The Market, with Janet Parshall. Many of the topics for this blog come from shows like Janet's. I hear something that applies directly to my life or the life of someone I know . . . so I write about it. But that night something else came out of her show, something wonderful.

Thursday night's show was about partnered prayer - praying WITH someone else - to God. This could be a spouse, a friend, or even a stranger As it turned out, the show I was listening to seemed targeted directly at me . . . and my wife.

How I long to pray with my wife. We have only prayed together once - during the complicated birth of our grandson. We had never prayed before that and we haven't prayed since. In 37 years of marriage we have only prayed once.

I have a prayer partner at work. We pray daily. We pray for our spouses, hoping that one day we might be praying with them instead . . . or in addition to. In the case of me and my wife praying, I was thinking it would again take something critical before we ever prayed together again.

Oh, the provisions of God!

Upon my arrival home, Janet's show still weighing on my heart, I asked my wife how her day went. Her day had not gone well. I sat to her listening to her tell me about something disturbing thing that had just happened. She was very upset and frustrated by it.

"Thank you, Lord, for giving me eyes to see,"  I said to myself, as God presented me with an opportunity to pray with my wife. I smiled briefly, recognizing the gift.

"Would you like to pray about it?" I asked, as she finished her venting.

"No. That's something I like to do by myself."

That was that. The rest of the evening went by, us going our separate things - she baking cookies for our grandson, me reading my Bible in the other room. And at one point she told me, "I'm going to bed."

"Okay," I replied. Another opportunity lost. Perhaps she is going to bed early to pray. That would be good.

As she left the room I continued to read. Let's see . . . where was I? Proverbs 22 . . . Sayings Of The Wise . . . see if this speaks to you as it did to me Thursday night.

"Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, And apply your heart to my knowledge; 18 For it is a pleasant thing if you keep them within you; Let them (the words of the wise) all be fixed upon your lips, 19 So that your trust may be in the Lord; I have instructed you today, even you. 20 Have I not written to you excellent things of counsels and knowledge, 21 That I may make you know the certainty of the words of truth, That you may answer words of truth to those who send to you?" - Proverbs 22:1-2

"I have instructed you today."

I closed my Bible, got up out of my comfortable chair. It was comfortable no more. Opening the bedroom door, I knelt by the bedside the bed and I prayed with my wife. I kissed her good night and return to reading.

The following morning I got up and left for work, not knowing the results of what God had caused me to do . . . what He had caused to happen in my wife's heart. But I know this. There was a tremendous joy in praying with my wife. God had caused me to take a step outside my comfort zone and into the realm of the unknown . . . where Jesus is. I encourage you, my friends, to do the same thing in ALL your relationships. Trust in God. Healing broken relationships is HIS thing. But let US pray. Let us praise! And let us NOT be afraid to pray. :)

The Power of Partnered Prayer - In The Market
Voice of Truth - Casting Crowns
Voice of Truth - Story Behind The Song

Ladies, How Do You Know When A Man Really Loves You?

We've all seen the Facebook posts about relationships. First comes the infatuation stage - the flirtatious comments, the two-person selfies. Soon the relationship becomes "Facebook official." Sadly, the next step in many relationships these days seems to be sex, followed closely by pregnancy. Finally, the couple dissolves into a series of Facebook rants, the relationship is over and a young girl is stuck raising a child all by herself. She too often finds herself wondering, "Did he ever really love me?"

Good question. One that should be asked WAY BEFORE any physical intimacy takes place. So how DO women know if their current man in THE ONE?

Lady's, the first sign a guy loves you is NOT that he wants to have sex with you. That is simply a sign that he is thinking about himself . .  first. God wants men to think of themselves LAST. Men are supposed to sacrifice themselves for their spouses. They are not to seek their own gratification at the expense of others.

"25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her " - Ephesians 5:25

So how does a woman know when a man loves her? Here are a few signs to consider before making decisions that will effect the rest of your lives.

Patience. If a man really loves you they are willing to wait. Have you ever read the story of Jacob and Rachel? Read it. Exodus 29. Jacob loved Rachel so much we worked 14 years FOR FREE to finally receive her in marriage. How long is your man willing to wait?

Self-Sacrifice. We already read the verse from Ephesians about sacrifice. Is your man willing to die for you? He should be. Does he give you HIS coat when YOU are cold? Does he wait on you when you are sick? Would he give up watching the championship football game to go for a walk with the love of his life?

Humility. Is your potential husband proud of himself? Does he think he is God's gift to women? Then he is not for you! Any future mate should place others above himself. . . and you should be WAY up there on that list.

Godly. Is this man you are dating more in love with God than he is with you? He should be. If you can find a man like that you have truly found someone who is worthy. And if you can find such a man, who is devoted to God, he also should meet the following criteria in Galatians 5:22-23. Some of these I have mentioned already.

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23

Are you currently living with someone before marriage? You shouldn't be. Are you having sex before marriage? You are defiling the Holy Spirit who lives within you . . . supposedly.

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." - Ephesians 5:3

The number one thing you can do to have a successful marriage and find the perfect mate for you is this. Place . . . God . . . First. In ALL things! And God will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). It is never too late to take a first step towards Christ. Jesus . . . HE is the godly man you have been seeking your entire life. No one else will come close. But try to find someone who is willing to try. Someone who is a follower of Christ. Not just in his words, but in his deeds as well.

Lead Me - Sanctus Real

Submit

When my daughter & son-in-law got married this past fall I was asked to read some scripture during the service. I was allowed to pick one verse myself, the second verse being selected by the couple getting married.

My verse was easy. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

"9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him - a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

I love that verse. Not only does it describe how our relationships should be with each other but it speaks volumes about what it is like to have Jesus as Lord of our lives.

The second verse I read on that wonderful day was selected by the wedding couple and, quite frankly, when I was given the verse to read, its selection surprised me. I was expecting something more like the typical one from 1 Corinthians 13 - "Love is patient, love is kind." Instead I was asked to read a verse about submission and sacrifice in a marriage - not something this world or women's lib and gender equality would have us believe. The passage being discussed here today is Ephesians 5:22-33.

"22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

This is God's pattern for not only husbands and wives but for the church's relationship with Jesus. Remember, HE is the bride groom. We are His bride. We are to submit to the authority of Christ and to love and respect Him. He in return has protected us and indeed SAVED us. sacrificing Himself FOR us because God loves us THAT MUCH.

I received a message from a relative of mine a few weeks ago, questioning my giving the "submissive" advice to my daughter. She said I "scared her." Hmm. All I did was read a Bible verse and I suddenly became scary? I think perhaps she is afraid of God's Word.

The world in which we live has a different idea about marriage. It doesn't matter what sex a married couple is, as long as the couple loves each other. That's what the world says. What God says is quite a bit different. Seeing as God created us, one would think He just might know how He planned to have things work.

God wrote our instruction manual. It's called The Bible. We are to submit to God. It says it right there in Ephesians. Jesus is the bride groom and we, the church, are the bride of Christ. We are to submit to Christ. Christ, the groom,  sacrificed Himself for us, His bride. And He was already done that. So how are we doing on OUR end of the bargain? Are we submitting to Jesus?

"If you love me you will keep my commands," said the groom, Jesus, to His bride. The bride in God's plan would do what He says. We are to submit to God's authority.

In a marriage in today's environment, things are a little more cloudy. When it's time to make a decision as a married couple there is discussion, or at least there should be, but in the end a decision is made. The husband is the head of the household. It is ultimately his decision.

But let's not forget to role of the husband is more than that of a dictatorial king. He must analyze the situation and make a God-honoring decision, without thought of self.

Here's an example. A husband wants to buy a new deer rifle. His old one is getting old. His wife would like to buy a new sewing machine. They discuss. The husband says the new deer rifle will put meat on the table. The wife wants to use the sewing machine to make clothes and also to teach other women how to sew. They discuss some more, weighing all the options and ramifications, but ultimately the man decides. But not selfishly . . . self-LESS-ly.

"Honey, I've thought about this a lot. Although I really would like to get a new gun, I can make due with the one I have for one more year. Your idea of helping others by teaching them how to sew is a good one. It would be providing for many, not just for ourselves. Let's go get you that new sewing machine."

That's nice and it works if everyone honors God's plan. But we live in a self-centered world where everyone seems to be out for themselves. That's where the plan falls apart, when the husband thinks only of himself.

"You want a new sewing machine!? Seriously? I need a new rifle so I can provide for this family. A sewing machine can't do that so forget it."

In this last example the man is not thinking of others. He doesn't see how teaching someone to sew actually DOES put food on the table . . . for a lifetime!

The plan of submitting to authority, to God, to anything must be a two-way street. Yes, there is someone making the final decision. But the decision maker must make those decisions considering all of the options and which decision is the most God-honoring. And if the deer rifle/sewing machine decision is too close to call, he is to sacrifice himself and let his wife get the machine.

Men are to be the leaders of the family but that does not mean they are to be dictators of it. It means that men are the last to eat. It means that men do the dishes because their wives have had a long day. It means that the man sacrifices all for his wife.

We all kind of bristle at authority. None of us like to see the flashing lights of a police car in our rearview mirror. But there is nothing more comforting when we are stranded on a deserted road in the dead of winter than to see the flashing lights of authority, of sacrifice, when it is truly needed.

When Jesus died for our sins He did so because He was submitting to the will of His Father. Jesus sacrificed Himself for His bride, the church . . . so that any who would believe in Him could survive the wrath of a righteous and holy God. How can we as Christians not submit to Him?

When we read the Bible and find something that is not to our liking, do we ignore it? Or do we submit? Do we erase that particular verse thinking others might see us as judgmental? Or do we stand by it and submit to our King . . . on bended knee . . .

Michele Bachman on Biblical submission

Puzzle

Saturday morning, when I got up , I walked out of my parent's guest bedroom and out into the dimly-lit hallway. Early-morning light was beginning to sneak into their house but it was struggling to do so. A big stretch of this old body of mine was next on the list as I tried to get the kinks out of my back from our 8-hour drive to Michigan the day before.

There was a light on in the living room. I could hear the faint reports coming from CNN as my mom and my dad sat watching the news. No one else was up. I stood there for a moment, unnoticed, and gained some insight into what it must be like for my mother each day, living quietly with her husband of 60+ years . . . and with the disease that is attacking his mind . . . Alzheimer's.

In many ways I think Alzheimer's disease is more cruel than a simple death. When some one dies, they are simply gone but you remember them as they were. Usually whole; somewhat vibrant and cognitive. But with Alzheimer's it's like the person we remember is not even with us anymore and has been replaced with someone else who walks and talks like the person we knew, but they struggle to remember who WE are. Alzheimer's Disease provides us with constant opportunities to think about "what used to be" and "what could have been."

My parents switched off the news and began to work on a jigsaw puzzle. My mom liked jigsaw puzzles back in the day - the harder the better. These days they stick mainly to 100-piece puzzles. My mom assembles the border while my dad tries to complete the inside. It takes them a while but eventually they get there . . . together. My mom offering suggested puzzle pieces along the way.

"Try this one. That's right. Just rotate it a bit. There you go!"

I used to wonder how God could allow such a disease to effect the people he supposedly loves. The same could be said for cancer or AIDS. God could eliminate them with the wave of His hand if He wanted to. So why doesn't he? A couple of verses come to mind . . . and a concept.

"The poor you will always have with you." - Matthew 26:11

Why? Why would Jesus say that? I suppose the same thing could be said of the sick. Illness and disease will always be with us. Why? I believe it is so that God can be glorified when he heals or so that He can use the disease to develop character in us. Why else? Population control? I don't think so . . . which brings me to my second verse.

"God wishes that none should perish." - 2 Peter 3:9

If God truly wishes that none should perish, then why are there diseases that cause death? These are good, logical questions that many people ask. Many people choose not to believe in God for this very reason. And this is exactly where my concept comes in.

The problem with us humans is that we spend an incredible amount of time thinking about ourselves. It's all about us. My young friend who got hit by a car last week . . . why was that allowed to happen?

We have to start seeing things through God's eyes, not our own. Forget about injuries and suffering and death. Those are temporary. Think eternally! What could someones illness be used for? Well, it could make us run to God for help. We could seek Him out to comfort us our a loved one in time of need. What else?

I suppose God could be using the suffering of someone we love to develop the character in those around Him. Remember, think eternally now. What was I witnessing this past weekend as I was watching my parents assembling a puzzle together? I witnessed the never-ending love that my parents have for each other. And what was that teaching me? That I should exhibit the same kind of love to the people I have in MY life. Hmm. I am 60 years old and my mother is still teaching me things.

We are not on this earth to live for ourselves. Sure, we're here to learn and to grow. But ultimately we are here for God and for others. Remember the greatest commandment? Jesus' disciples asked him what it was and he said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

It's all about love. We are learning how to love in ALL situations. What's that they always say in wedding ceremonies? "In sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part." That is how we are to love one another. My parents love each other in ALL of those ways. I pray that I will learn from their example and follow their leading and love not only my wife in such a way, but ALL those I happen to meet.

"4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Marriage

My wife and I aren't very good role models for parents who are trying to encourage their kids to have long engagements or for those who are trying to get their children to "not move too quickly" in a relationship. We met in August, were engaged in October and married a year and a half later in July.

Someone once asked me, "How do you know when you find the right one?"

My answer wasn't very helpful I'm afraid. I said, "You just . . . KNOW!"

I "just knew" a few weeks after meeting my then future wife Bev and, as Billy Crystal said in the movie When Harry Met Sally, "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

My wife and I have been married for 36 years now. Most people would say that we have a great marriage but it hasn't always been sweetness and light. We have had our share of little differences. My wife is a liberal, I'm a conservative. She's a dietitian. I like greasy food. But we still hold hands when we take walks together and things just don't feel the same when we're apart.

Marriage is too often taken lightly in my opinion. If someone doesn't like where their marriage is headed, they quickly just bail out and move on their the next "future ex." Fewer and fewer people are willing to work at their marriages and tend to give up on them WAY to easily, usually when one party or the other doesn't get their way.

No one has asked me for marriage advise lately but if they did I'd have a few choice tidbits for them. The first advice I'd offer is to yield. No argument is worth going to bed angry over. Sound like good advice? It's in the Bible.

"do not let the sun go down on your anger," - Ephesians 4:26

The next thing I would advise is to make sure you both have similar beliefs. It's possible to have opposing beliefs and still be in a successful marriage but it's a lot more difficult than it needs to be. And guess what . . . that's in the Bible too.

"14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" - 2 Corinthians 6:14

And finally, place God first in every decision you make. Do that and you can overcome anything. God already has a plan for marriage. It has been proven to work amazingly well. All we humans need to do if follow the plan! Every marriage that has ended in failure has, for sure, NOT followed God's biblical model from the book of Ephesians.

"22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (sacrifice)26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:22-33

The plan is simple, yet we continue to get things wrong, time and time again. If we'd only listen to God! If we'd only stop thinking of ourselves and trust in the One who created 'love' and 'marriage' to begin with.

I thank God for my wife. What an incredible blessing she has been! I pray that everyone would find that perfect someone created especially for them. Trust in the Lord. All his ways are good (Psalm 25:10). The success of ANY marriage really depends upon who we are willing to serve - ourselves? Or God.

"15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” - Joshua 24:15

New Year's Eve - When Harry Met Sally