Saturday, May 20, 2023

The Parable of the Evil Kitty


We had our carpets cleaned yesterday. There's probably a story in there somewhere about sin and the "cleansing" power of Jesus, but not today.

The whole process was very revealing. First, we had to move ALL the furniture out of the rooms that were to be cleaned. Then, we had to vacuum the carpet.

"Why are we vacuuming the carpet? Isn't the carpet guy going to clean them?"

Apparently, I'm not knowledgeable about such matters.

After the carpet guy was done we chatted for a bit. That's when my wife said this about our cat.

"We will always have a cat."

That made me think of a Bible verse. 

"The CAT you will always have with you." Or was it 'the poor'?

After my wife got done sentencing me to 'life with a cat', I began thinking about all of the evil things our cat has done.

It's only a matter of time before our cat vomits something onto our freshly cleaned carpet. That's a given.

Our cat walks around like he owns the place.

"Feed me."
"Clean my litter box."
"What are you eating? Where's mine?"
"Oh, I hear a package of cheese being opened!"
"I'm sleeping on your lap now."

Our cat is the reason we sleep with the bedroom door shut. We always hear him jump down OFF the counter. Never UP. And why is his mournful 'meow' always loudest when we want to sleep in?

It occured to me that our cat is synonymous with our sinful nature. Always with us and doing things it shouldn't. Even when it appears loving there is often an ulterior motive. Selfish, greedy, arrogant... (I should probably stop, in case my wife reads this).

"Cats will be lovers of themselves, and lovers of cheese. They meow, loudly. They are proud, arrogant, disobedient to their owners, ungrateful, they shed, and make annoying licking noises when they clean themselves. They are unforgiving, uncaring, without self-control, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of us. Have nothing to do with cats. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women." - 2 Timothy 2-6 ACV (Anti Cat Version)

[I might have modified the actual text a bit]

Aren't we a bit like cats from time to time though? In the way we live our lives. Always seeking our own comfort and pleasure?

REPENT!

But before I "stray" too far (I know, too late) I need to remind myself that Jesus Himself is known as 'The Lion of Judah.' And where is MY grace and compassion?

Ouch! 

(Apologies to all the cat-lovers out there. This story was written purely in jest... with some basis in truth)

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