I have a lot of young adults in my life right now who are struggling in with their relationships. As a former youth leader in a church, I have watched the high school and middle school kids I used to mentor grow up into young adults.
Some of their relationships started off well but then spiraled downward rather quickly while other relationships seemed to thrive right from the start. Why is that? I believe there IS an answer to that question. Are you ready to find out?
Go get a piece of paper and a writing utensil of your choice. Now, draw a line down the middle of the paper - top to bottom. At the top of the left column write "Wants". At the top of the right column write "Needs". Go ahead now and write down the things you are looking for in a relationship.
Write down all the things you want in your relationship. Then write down all the things you absolutely need. You have 30 seconds. Start the Jeopardy theme music below and GO!!
All done? Great! Now look at your answers. Did you have more wants than needs? Or more needs than wants? Were they ALL needs? Okay. now try this. Examine the column of your relationship needs and answer this one simple question.
Is one of them Jesus? Was He first on your list of needs? He should be. He should be the ONLY need on your list. Otherwise all your relationships will most likely fail. At best, they will be bumpy and there will be struggles. Why? Because you are trying to please yourself instead of God. Think about it. Look at all of the things that you want. YOU want.
Have you tried praying for God to bring someone to come into your life? Guess what. It doesn't work, does it? Look at your list of wants and needs and forget about them all. Try praying something like this:
Heavenly Father, I have tried and failed in so many of my earthly relationships. Nothing seems to work. I am beginning to wonder if anyone will ever love me. But I know that YOU love me God. Is there someone that YOU have in mind for me? If there is, would you show me please? I am willing to wait for the one that YOU want to be by my side. But if there is no one, that's okay. Because I have you! You are all that I need Lord. I'm sorry for not placing you above all of my wants and needs in my life. You should be above all! Thank you Father for hearing my prayer. In the name of Jesus I offer this prayer up to You. Amen.
Look, none of us is perfect. There isn't a perfect Christian on the planet. It's hard to find someone who fits our wants. "33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Matthew 6:33. We need to check our priorities. And our obedience.
"15 If you love me, keep my commands." - John 14:15
If Jesus is your one and only, everything else will fall into place. Quit trying to please others or find that perfect mate for yourself. That person doesn't exist. Establish a relationship with Christ first. Make Jesus your ONLY desire. Obey His commands. Then, see what happens after that.
If you need someone to talk with, I'll listen and encourage you in your relationship quest. Send me a message. To know God is to know love. Seek Him first. Seek out a pastor or close friend, but don't give up hope. God loves us.
"16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:16-19
Draw Me Close - Michael W. Smith
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